The Da Vinci Load: 82% rotten!


Well, who woulda thunk it? "The Da Vinci Code" movie is being almost universally panned as a bad film! Ron Howard evidently didn;'t know how to hqandle this hot potato of a movie -- from a book that had "Film me!" written all over it.

For those of you not familiar with the Rotten Tomatoes website, it gathers film reviews from dozens of sources, then provides a freshness measure. Only 18% of the "TDVC" reviewers gave it a "fresh (i.e., positive) rating. The rest O Lord, thy ways are marvelous!) rated it "rotten."

Some of my favorite reviews:

"I'll say it: It is anti-Jesus and anti-Catholic. Unintentionally though, it is a recruiting film for Opus Dei. Where do I sign up?"
-- Victoria Alexander, FILMSINREVIEW.COM

"The script explains everything twice, spelling out the big words three times, so that even if you've never heard of Jesus or Mary Magdalene you can still figure out this story."
-- Jeffrey M. Anderson, COMBUSTIBLE CELLULOID

""The Da Vinci Code" is essentially just another average Hollywood thriller. Nothing more."
-- Angela Baldassarre, SYMPATICO.CA

"Every time Langdon starts to educate Sophie, the urge to tune out is overwhelming."
-- Josh Bell, LAS VEGAS WEEKLY

"As for the film's entertainment virtues, forget it. This is one of the most talky and pretentious major films in memory."
-- Steve Crum, VIDEO-REVIEWMASTER.COM

"Way too long and duller than watching Da Vinci's paint dry...takes away the book's little credibility and makes the flaws more obvious."
-- Edward Douglas, COMINGSOON.NET

"You know a movie's a dud when even its self-flagellating albino killer monk isn't any fun. "
-- John Beifuss, COMMERCIAL APPEAL (MEMPHIS, TN)

"Ron Howard plays it too safe keeping fans of the book in line, objectors at bay and alienates anyone coming into the hype with thoughts of 'that's what everyone is up in arms about?'"
-- Erik Childress, EFILMCRITIC.COM

"... a jigsaw puzzle [that] turns out to be a lot less fun than you hoped it would be when you started piecing it together."
-- Carol Cling, LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL

"I cannot vouch for the novel, but the movie is a remarkably underwhelming experience."
-- David Cornelius, EFILMCRITIC.COM

"For people who insist that the movie is never as good as the book, your case just got stronger."
-- Matt Pais, METROMIX.COM

"Ron Howard and screenwriter Akiva Goldsman struggle mightily to cram as much as possible of Dan Brown's labyrinthine thriller into a 2-hour-28-minute running time, resulting in a movie both overstuffed and underwhelming."
-- David Ansen, NEWSWEEK

"The movie is so nervous about offending anyone that it's hardly any fun."
-- Jami Bernard, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

"Absent is the pure guilty joy of sequential puzzle-solving; instead of participating in the hunt, we're shoved off to the side as a couple of crashing boors do it for us."
-- Amy Biancolli, HOUSTON CHRONICLE

"... it's not very good -- long (2hr.32min.) and mostly inert."
-- Richard Corliss, TIME MAGAZINE

"Ron Howard's adaptation of Dan Brown's bestseller is punishingly long, dramatically overwrought and fatally short on the thrills we demand from summertime blockbusters."
-- Colin Covert, MINNEAPOLIS STAR TRIBUNE

"On film, The Da Vinci Code is not so much a fascinating puzzle as a prolonged slog through material that resists the screen."
-- Robert Denerstein, DENVER ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS

And there you have it folks. Now let's see how much money it makes.